Living in Pakistan, as a female; I asked myself each passing day… What can make my skin more lighter, why aren’t these creams working, my thighs are too fat and I am beginning to grow out of my Khaadi size 8, will I be accepted or shamed and flawed by my own rishtedaar? The option stated priorly is just a myth, where as my khalas and phoopis won’t let the day pass without mentioning the certain flaws accustomed to my appearance.
I have grown tired and mentally ill, I refuse to succumb to these pity details that are a part of my anatomy. This trend or social custom of ‘Body shaming’ has strong roots in our society spreading further and deeper into the minds of almost every individual who chooses to live in a nutshell. The idea of mourning over slight belly fat or because your curves are not attractive and your hair doesn’t shine as bright as the stars is an impeccable waste of intellect.
Body shaming usually starts from home being from being called names like ‘moti’,’behns’ (cow) and ‘saand’. These words strike women at fragile ages, provoking emotional stress and lowering self-esteem. A case was recently brought up in Dawn, a female applicant was rejected from a job due because she seemed to be too fat for the position. There are endless cases that women suffer through day in and day out. Be it from job positions or competing to become a model, women worldwide have grown insecure because of this constant torture and oppression to meet the so-called standards of beauty.
Not to forget, social media is bombarded with cases like models dying out of anorexia, suicide attempts because of being shaming of being overweight or ugly. All these cases are ridiculed in the name of depression, which is mostly taken for granted as a non-serious matter or a cry for attention according to the Pakistani mentality. Heck, there are people out there who even think that depression is made up social construct.
Learning to accept yourself and pushing your self-esteem beyond those ugly comments can be hard, and it may want to make you want to burst and cry but isn’t that a part of being human? Being flawed and imperfect, let this be a lesson. Push yourself beyond the man-made concept of what societal acceptance and you will gradually fall into the act of loving and caring for yourself.
If you want to lose weight or look prettier, think about the actual intention behind it. Be truthful to yourself. Ask yourself, why would you take a step to change yourself? Is it because you want to look nice in front of others? Or is it because you feel unfit and think that losing some weight or taking care of your skin and hair will be good for yourself? Learn to question your actions and you will find your true self in those answers..
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